I visited my family 5 weeks this summer alone, spent most of my time at mom’s house.

Cooking, washing, cleaning, and chatting at the same time; I tried to devote as much time as I can to my family, most was to my mom. Without Terry and Sonny on this trip, I put all of my attention and energy to my family, wished I could do more for them.

Mom aged a lot, one day feels good, next day might feels bad. She can’t do much any more, which she never imagined it will happen to her too. Her wrists feel too weak to lift a full thermos, have a hard time to pour hot water into her tea cup. I made tea for her every day and added hot water into her cup whenever she needed. At her sick day, I even bathed her which I never did before. One day, she said:” Ah, It’s so good that you are here serving me full time, I love it. I wish your sister can do it too.” I laughed and said:” Don’t forget my sister has to work, take care her kid and do all the house works. And I’m different, I have no job here, all I’m doing here is taking care of you.” I’m glad that she enjoyed my visiting.

My mom didn’t learn to read and write, she can’t even speak fluent Chinese, but she is the wisest woman I’ve ever known. She gave me best advices when I need one, helped me make up my mind, chose the right one along my growing up.

I remember, we were visiting my family few years ago; an old lady who was also living in the same building, said:”You married so far away from home, even you miss your mom, you can’t come back to visit her often.” I don’t remember what I said exactly, might just some agreeable words.

When I told my mom what the lady said, she said:” Don’t look at the thing in that way. If you have a good marriage, doesn’t matter where you live, I know you have a good life, it will always make me, make our whole family happy. If you married to a yuck man and had a bad time, even you live at next door and see me every day, it will only make me sad and feel sorry for you.” That is how my mom always help me to look at things from a positive view.

I cooked soup noodle for breakfast every morning, wheat noodle or rice noodle. With simple ingredients but I can’t get in Hawaii, the noodle tasted very good every morning. My little nephew would only eat the noodle I cooked, not his mom’s cooking. Even my mom praised my cooking skill, said my marriage life changed me, made me a better cook.

 

 

 

My mom’s elder sister still lives in the village, not too far away, but they haven’t seen each other for years. A week after I arrived, I called my cousin and he came to visit with my aunt, aunt spent a week with us. They both had hard lives, saw lots of changes in their life time, their experiences became history. I want to know more about their life, got them both telling me their childhood story, and about my grandma who I don’t remember very much.

 

During my vocation, there was the Swing Festival of Aka people, one of the biggest festival except New Year Festival. Our relatives from different villages invited us, but we only went to my aunt’s village.

Beginning I thought that I could shot some actual swing video, but they didn’t build a swing in aunt’s village this year. So we visited several relative’s homes, had meal after meal, my brother in laws couldn’t get away without drinking, they were drunk at the end.

 

 

This was the first meal we had at one of my cousin’s house. The table is made of rattan which is the traditional item of my tribe, it’s very light and can be hung on the wall after meal. Living in jungle, my ancestors learned to use materials from forest. My mom and aunt told me, when they were young, from rice bowl, spoon, wine cup, rice container, to big round container for steaming rice, even container for making vegetable pickles were all made of bamboo. Dinning table, seat, basket were made of rattan. Less and less people use those items now.

As a guest to visit any household at any time, you can’t go with empty hands, that is one of our tradition. When you leave, the host won’t let you go with empty hands either. At this festival, sticky rice cake is the special gift from the host to the guest, which is the food I miss a lot.

My cousin’s wife made some sticky rice cakes the day before, I told her that I missed this food a lot but don’t know how to make it. She made a small batch right away, to demonstrate, so I can make it myself here. She and her husband have very close relationship with my family, they never hesitate to do a favor for us at any time.

She steamed sticky rice, pounded in a stone mortar with a heavy wood stick; fried sesame seeds and mashed it with salt, then coated it on the rice; made small round cake shape and coated with sesame one more time, it’s done. We had some fresh rice cake right away, and took some home, heated up whenever we want it.

 

 

 

My elder sister fried some rice cakes as soon as we got home, but heated it up on hot charcoal is the old way and better way. When it cooked, it will puff up, crispy outside, soft inside. It kept sticky rice’s natural taste and a hint of wood fire flavor, this was my snack between my meals, I love it.

My time over there seems so busy, even I didn’t do anything big, just lots of small things. When I was not doing anything, I would spend the time chatting with my sisters and my mom, watching TV with them. Life is so busy over there, I couldn’t find a quiet moment to read or think. It made me missing the life as a Kona coffee farmer very much, and made me cherish the life I’m living in morethan ever.

When my vocation time got shorter and shorter, I was glad as I would see Terry and Sonny soon; at the same time, I was sad that I had to leave my mom and my sisters. I had to tell myself, that I had a very good visiting and did what I wanted.

My mom woke me up early on the day I was leaving, so we could spent peaceful 2 hours and talk alone before every body get up. She told me, she was getting old but she still had many promising years to live, and we would see each other again. She is happy for me as I have a happy family of my own. She is a such wonderful mom and kind person, there are many beautiful stories about her. I’ll share more story about my mom some day.