We started getting some rain lately, coffee trees respond to it with healthy green color. We sprayed the first round of Botanic Guard, and finished the first round of  sucker-ling. Another year’s routine works as coffee farmer in Kona.

There are always many stories to raise a child. As the child is growing, parents are learning with the child, not only about their child, but also about themselves. Today I’d like to share our story about how Sonny gets the concept of money.

I only used cash when I was in China, credit card wasn’t common way to purchase goods. Now more people use credit card than before, but most small business still prefer cash.

We visited my family when Sonny was 4 years old. One day, he was playing with other kids, a man who was selling steam buns came to the village. All of the kids ran to the man, stopped him on the road to buy sweet buns. My family’s backyard face to the road, about 100 yards, rice paddy between the house and the road. I saw Sonny was the last one standing in front of that man, one hand out for sweet bun, other kids left. He didn’t know, other kids got sweet buns because they gave money to the man. I took my wallet, walked to them. That man gave a sweet bun to Sonny before I got there, I thanked the man and bought few more. Since that incident, I often wonder how can we teach him what is money, what is it for.

Here, we use credit card most time, he doesn’t have many opportunity handling cash. So we started a saving account for his future education fund, tried to introduce saving concept to him. He only can spend the money if he goes to college or university, otherwise we’ll take it back. He didn’t get the concept, since he doesn’t have a chance to spend the money.

Last coffee season, Terry said to me,” It seems not fair to Sonny, since he can’t spend any money without our permit. We should let him keep his own saving, the money he earns, he can spend as he wishes.” Later we talked to him, he was excited about it.

He earned his first $9.00 from picking coffee, right way he spent $3.50 for a Hagan Das bar at a convenient store. When he had $20.00, he spent $17.00 for a toy rifle which he already had one at home. Both times we didn’t stop him, later he found that he didn’t have enough money to buy Mine craft book which he wanted so bad. Since then he thinks a little bit before he spend his money. It also motivated him to pick coffee willingly to earn some money, and he tried to find different ways to earn and save money.

His class had a field trip to Hilo, he convinced us to give him $10.00, he took another $10.00 from his own saving. If he didn’t spend all the money, he got to keep the rest. On that trip, he spent less than $10.00, so he made a few dollars. On February, his class had a two days field trip to Oahu, he took his own $20.00 and we gave him $20.00. He came home with two souvenir, an army helmet and a water bottle, cost $18.00, put the rest money back into his pig bank.

This year he wanted a computer for his birthday, we told him that he had to put in some money, at least $100.00. We’ll double the amount he put in, the more he put in, the better computer he’ll get. Our friend Tom gave Sonny many chances to earned money from him, he paid Sonny to play piano, five dollars for five songs.

He spent his spring break and weekend morning working with us, most time he moved branches and piled branches by drive way. Every day we asked him how much his work worth, he gave us a number, we looked the pile, gave him our price. Most times he got $3.00, few times got $5.00. He couldn’t do very much, but we let him do it alone, with his own pace, praised him for trying his best. I remember how boring it was, when I was helping my parents at his age. I shared my thoughts with him. We don’t always have a fun job or a job we like, sometimes we have a boring job, but we still need to try our best if we hold the job. In that way, when we have a good job, a fun job, we’ll cherish the opportunity and definitely do our best.

On his birthday, we picked him up from school, went to town, bought a computer for him. He used up his saving, $18.00 in debt to us, promised to pay back. He worked with us on Saturday morning, cut down his debt to $15.00. He lost one tooth, and asked tooth fairy ( Terry ) for $5.00. Terry handed the money to him, he handed the money to me right away, announced he was only $10.00 in debt. He received some money for his birthday, he’s not only debt free, but also some money in his piggy bank.

I can tell he’s very happy because he has power over his own money. He treated us with Hagan Das bars at special occasion, Terry’s birthday, our anniversary, Mother’s Day. I praised him for his generosity.

I’m happy, as a team, Terry and I found a way to open this door to Sonny. Wish he will enjoy the process of making money, spending money in good way, be the master of money, not be mastered by money.

Water Splash Festival is the most ceremonious traditional festival of the Dai minority, it takes place in mid-April after Qingming Festival. Usually three days celebration in Jinghong first, then other counties and villages have their celebration events. Today, with improved high way transportation and flight access, this festival attract many tourists every year, the whole city fill up with people, double up hotel room price, bring more business to restaurants or food booths.

My sister has some health issues, she checked in hospital to get fully check up, right after we buried mom’s ashes. It happened to be the festival time, so her two daughters and I stayed with her in hospital. There were three beds in her room and she was the only patient stay in there at night, so that room became our room.

First night of the festival, people gathered by Mekong river, let off Kongming lamp and river lamp. The hospital is near the river, we took my two nieces to see it, we also bought some Kongming lamps and let them off. It made of very thin rice paper and a wire ring on the base, a square of fuel. Light up the fuel, wait the hot air fill up the lamp then let it fly away.

View from hospital building

The next day morning, I took my nieces to see parade, it’s very colorful. If you ask me, is it the only time people dress up like these? The answer is no, you always can see people with their colorful clothes, except they are not usually in a big group like these.

The third day was the Water Splash day, from 10am to 5pm. On the street, people had bucket, basin, water scoop, water gun, splash water to each other. To Dai people, water is a symbol of sanctity, beauty and brightness. Splashing or dousing each other with water, is an expression of the desire for good luck and prosperity to that person, but now for most people, it became a good-nature fun festival.

When we were young, we waited by the road and splashed water to people passing by, used the water from the stream right by the road. I only had one time experience of spending Water Splashing Festival in the city.

At that time, I was working in a hotel, which was newly opened hotel, hired and trained most of young people. That day we gathered about 20 people, about 6 girls, rest were boys. We walked from the hotel to the center of the city where the main activity was held. Fire truck hauled water, drove around the city, provided water to people.  Wherever we went, people splashed water to us friendly, smaller group didn’t want to start a water fight with us. We girls were well protected by our group boys, we really had fun that day.

This time, only my sister and I with my two nieces, we didn’t even want to be in town. Sometimes people get carry away by their excitement, single or small group girls or women easily become a target, things can go really wrong. So we left the city and back to home in that morning.

Beginning of April is Qingming Festival in China, also known as Tomb-Sweeping Day. This tradition has a long history, has become a festival for the Chinese people to commemorate their ancestors. It’s an opportunity to remember and honor their ancestors at grave sites; sweep tomb, offer food, tea and wine to the deceased members, to pay their respect. I went back to China and spent a month for this festival, as my families were waiting for me, so we can bury my mom’s ashes together.

I arrived there 10 days earlier before the festival, so we had time to prepare for this big event.

First time, the whole family got together discussing about the coming event, we got into an argument since we had different opinions, ended up my brother left. In Chinese family, usually the eldest son plays a big part of taking care of their aging parents, and in charge of their parents’ funeral and Qingming event. In my family, my mom lived with my younger sister, my sister arranged my mom’s funeral. We didn’t expect my brother will change after mom past away, we believe we can do it and do it good. Our love toward to our mom won’t die, it will live in our heart until we reach the end of our own life.

What we learned from the argument was that, we realized my brother-in-laws, my brother and us girls couldn’t reach to an agreement. Chinese from different areas have different customs for same festival or events, my two brother-in-laws are from different part of the country. My family is not a Han Chinese family, but we are living in a Han Chinese community. We grew up with Han people, lost our own traditions and customs, tried to imitate their customs at their festivals, but we don’t have the same culture background and root. When my father past away, he was buried here by the people from this community with their custom. My brother participated the ceremony and knows how it went, we girls don’t know about it at all.

Next day, my sister and I went to a place where sells curving tomb stone. Mr. Miao who owns the business is a very nice man, he has been doing this business for over 20 years, has lots of experience and knowledge. He spent 3 hours to talk to us, found out my family’s situation, and offered his time and his workers to do the whole thing for us. He picked the best day for the event according my parents and all of us siblings’ Zodiac. Getting into an argument or fight at the ceremony are not a good thing, hiring a professional crew seems like the best choice to prevent disagreement, so we hired his crew.

There is another reason why we chose Mr.Miao. Three nights before we met him, my sister had a dream. In the dream, we were moving new furniture into our parents house, not a new house, but was remodeled house. The steps were going under the ground, someone fell and his face began to change every second. My sister was scared, suddenly a man’s voice said: ” Don’t worry, I can do this for you. I’ll tell you what you need to prepare, 7 yard of red cloth ……” My sister woke up before the man told her everything.

When we met Mr. Miao the first time, we told him our family’s situation, he said the exactly same words in same order, 7 yards of red cloth was on the top list of preparing items. We would like to believe that her dream foretold the future, and guided us to the right decision.

The stone was 5cm thick, 50 × 100 cm rectangular. edited the text and printed it out on a sheet, pasted the sheet on stone, then curved. Writing in vertical order, my parents’ names are in the center, their date of birth and death on the left side, their children’ name are on the top row of right side, daughter-in-law and son-in-law’s name are on the next row, then their grandchildren’ name are at the bottom row. Curved heavy stone frame supported this tomb stone, like a main entrance of a fancy old style of Chinese house. On the top stone of the frame, curved dragon on the left and phoenix on the right. An antithetical couplet curved on the frame of stone.

8,000yuan was his price, it paid for the tomb stone, and he provided materials for this project, like sand, cement, bricks and his workers. His crew moved all of the materials to the grave site, knocked down the old cement tomb stone; opened the right side of the tomb, put my mom’s ashes container into the tomb which was a space built with bricks; topped with another small piece of rectangular stone and covered it with dirt. As family members, we were not suppose to do these things on that day, only none family members could do it. We lighted fireworks, incense, burned joss paper, kowkow when Mr.Miao told us to do. It took the whole day, from 7:00am to 5:30pm. In between these time, we went back to home, cooked lunch and took the meal to the working crew; cooked offering food and held an offering ceremony after the crew finished the work; then prepared supper at the end.

It was a good day, everything went very well, rained after we finished the ceremony. We all pleased by Mr. Miao and his crew’s work,  paid him and gave red envelops to every worker. Thanked them sincerely.

We sisters are very close, I really enjoyed the time with them, so comfortable and relax when we were together. They told me more about mom before she fell. A few months before she past away, she divided her silver which were the only valuable things she possessed. She told my sisters, let my brother to keep her three pieces of old furniture if he wants, she had them since she married. All the things she did and said seems like, that she was preparing to leave, she took care of all of her personal things. Hearing all of these things about her, my tears burst out like water from broken dam, couldn’t stop. I felt sad because I couldn’t be there for her at the end of her life.

My sisters also told me that my uncle’s  death (my dad’s younger brother) might be the trigger of my mom’s fall. In that morning a relative came to visit, told mom that my uncle died 10 days ago, in the afternoon my mom ended up in hospital. After mom past away, nobody told her elder sister about it, tried to hide the news from her. But she over heard it from other people’s conversation, someone saw her sitting in a corner alone and crying. Next day my aunt fell, the same way like my mom. She past away 25 days later after my mom’s death.

My parents generation of my family became past, now we are the eldest generation in the family, another younger generation are growing and they bring hope and happiness into our life. Looking into our life, it’s a combination of sadness and happiness.

We hold gratitude toward to our parents for raising and loving us in their own way, remember their love and try our best to give our love to younger generation. It’s like a circle, no matter how many rounds it goes, love always there, continue to exist and never die.

My mom past away last month when we were very busy of picking coffee. When I was picking, my mind was always occupied by the memories of her, in a peaceful way.

I knew she would leave us someday, no surprise, what surprised me is the way how I took  her death.

My father’s death was my first experience of losing a family member, I was 22 and we didn’t know each other very well. I knew who he was, but we never had a heart to heart talk, it’s a pity that he didn’t have a chance to know the adult of me and my younger sister. The hard feeling of losing him was in my heart many years, until on 7th year after his death, I decided to let the sad feeling go, release the pity which I’ve held so tight in my heart for so long. I wrote a letter to him, told him my decision, it’s time to move on with our lives without him.

But with my mom, it’s different. All of my sisters had a chance to love her, respect her, know her and take care of her, we knew her so well, no regrets for the time we had with her.

In 2012 I visited her alone, my aunt ( her elder sister ) came to spent a week with us. I took some videos of them, together they told us their childhood in the village, and stories happened to their lives. In 2013 I visited her again, took care of her in hospital, did my best to help her at that time.

My mom was the youngest child in her family, she had one elder sister and one elder brother. She never had a chance to meet her father, who died early; their mother as a widow was a very strong woman and she never married again; but she managed to raise them alone and had a better living condition than most families in the village. My mom was a good child, her brother and she respected and listened to their mother all the time, my aunt as the eldest child, who argued with their mother often.

After my mom married my dad, she lived in the village with all her kids alone for years, my dad just visited a few times a year for harvesting season or holiday. Later we left the village, moved to live in Han Chinese community. Mom couldn’t speak Chinese, no job, no income, she lived under my father’s male power shadow. But she worked hard around the house, raised chicken and pigs, helped my father with his job. She was so quite, I don’t remember anything she said that stick into my mind at that period of time. In spite of their non-cheerful marriage, mom took care of dad many years until he died.

For few months she lived alone, then my elder brother’s family moved in, they wanted to take care her and my younger sister and me. We were still single girls, so elder brother should be in charge of our family, but we both had small jobs in town. It didn’t go well and didn’t last for two years; they didn’t treat mom with respect even she was the one do all the cooking, washing, gardening. When the rubber farm wanted every household buy the rooms they were living in, my brother bought it and moved mom out from her room to a shack. At that time, four of us girls were working outside of the camp, didn’t know anything about it. Until I went back on weekend and found it out,  mom had cried for three days. I was so angry but I couldn’t bring myself to start an argument with my elder brother. As sisters, we couldn’t forgive him for treating mom so bad. My younger sister was the one who had a big argument with them after she got back, with her powerful verbal expression fought back.

There was a family wanted to sell their place in the camp, they were living in town. Luckily I had a pretty well paid job at that time, my two months salary paid for it, and my sisters and I had fun to clean up and furnish our new home. It has four rooms inside the front two stories building, one big room as kitchen and dining room on the back, a one story building, and attached a shower room outside. I was 24 and I was very happy to be able to help my family, to provide a trouble-less life to mom. Ever since then, mom had a pretty good life with all her daughters’ love and respect, she became the center of our family.

In these 16 years, we found out that our mother was a very wise woman, her wisdom just didn’t have a chance to shine before; and her ability of accepting new things were far ahead than other same age people.

Only women lived in our house, except one of my brothers in law visited us sometimes. We were laughing, singing a lot, no argument among us but very good communications. We all had our own freedom, physically and mentally, it was a happy and joyful life, a very good life.

Our next door neighbor bought the first stereo system in the camp, they played popular music loudly in the camp, it sounds so good and the whole community enjoyed it. So I bought the same brand of stereo system, we girls sang Karaoke sometimes, often other  people joined us too. I bought some English song video, it was the first time that my mom was exposed to English music. She liked Michael Borden’s song, Ciline Dion’s “The Power of Love”, and Michael Jackson’s songs, especially the “Earth Song”. She thought that Michael Jackson was a talented genius,  it would take a hundred years to have someone like him to be born into this world.

For TV series shows, she liked western countries show, people kissing and hugging a lot between families and friends in the show. So my sisters, niece and nephews started to hug her and say “I love you” to her all the time. I believe we were the only family doing that to express our love in the community.

In 2000, I asked mom if there were any place she liked to go and see, she told me that Beijing would be the only place. So I took her on that trip through a travel agency, tried different transpositions, plane, train, boat. She liked taking an plane, and asked me to buy airplane tickets all the way to home when we returned. On that trip, I found out how playful and enthusiasm traveler she was; in another hand, I was the boring one.

We spent two days on sea side, one morning we got up early to see sunrise and saw some locals were collecting sea weeds. Even those peoples couldn’t understand her pigeon Chinese, she watched and tried to collect sea weed for them. At day time, we walked on the sand, she collected sea shell, or played running and chasing game with ocean wave, like a very young kid playing at beach.

We climbed The Great Wall, she wanted to go further than I would, she had more energy than I had. If we stopped at a temple, she insisted to put some money into the donation box; if we visited any emperor’s tomb, she insisted to leave some coin there, like other tourists; if we stopped at a shop, she wanted to buy souvenir, at least one thing.

I liked to tell mom things happened around me, or stories I read, she was a good listener and thinker. We often exchanged our opinions, her opinions led me and guided me to see different point of views, I learned a lot from her. Some of our conversations were so important to me, I will never forget them.

I met Terry in 2000, in the hand of our fate, I became his trekking guide for three weeks, we visited some tribal villages. By this accident, I kept trekking guide as my career for next three years, a guide with freedom just worked for myself.

Only a crazy man like Terry would proposing to me at three weeks after we met, of course my answer to him was “no”. I’d never thought of choosing a foreigner as my husband, and he was so much older than me. Terry respected my decision and wished that I would find a good young Chinese man some day, we remained as friends, he sent letters and e-mails to me. From him, I learned that I could be a special person to someone, and I was the special one to him. Thinking about the short times we traveled together, I couldn’t find anything about him which I disliked. The way he walked into villagers’ low house, the way he sat at dining table, tried everything on the table, drank local brewed alcohol with hosts, his body language showed his humble attitude and respect to villagers. I knew he is a very gentle and kind person.

My mom and two sisters met Terry one time that year. It was Water Splash Festival, I invited him to our apartment in town for lunch with my family. Because he couldn’t speak or understand Chinese, a few times of funny misunderstanding things happened on the dining table, we all laughed and couldn’t stop, including Terry himself.

Many months later after that, I told mom about Terry and what he wrote in his letter. She asked me: ” What are you expecting from your marriage?”

I told her, ” I don’t know.”

Then mom said: “You better don’t think if you married, then your life is locked into a safety deposit box, don’t expect your husband will take care of you until you die. There are so many unexpected things could happen in life, your husband could die early or you; or divorce, your two sisters both divorced. Even your dad and my ages are close, I took care of him until he died. Even the man (Terry) is not young, but he looks very healthy. If he loves you, and you like him and love him, even you only could have 5 years happy life together, it’s worth to try.”

After that conversation, I knew what I wanted from my marriage, someone to love and to be loved dearly, cherish every single days of our life together.  I made up my mind, I would try to get know Terry more and look forward to see him again next year. Now we’ve lived more than 3 x 5 years happy life together, thanks mom for her wise advise.

I think that most parents love their child, but not every parents naturally know how to raise their child with gentle love, they need someone to guide to become a good parent. I had no experience of raising a child before, Terry and my mom were the best teachers of mine to be more patient with Sonny.

When Sonny was a little over 1 year old, often he got himself wet or dirty around the house. I was very easy losing my patient with him when I saw the mess he made, then I would shouted at him, or spank his butt; he didn’t understand me, but he screamed back at me. I saw the problem, I was not a good model to my son, my action were bad examples to him. Parents are their children’ first teachers, often the child learn good or bad habits from their parents. I told Terry my problem, and I didn’t like what would come out from that. He asked me to let him know whenever I lose my patient, let him to handle the situation.

One day I talked to my mom on the phone about it, she said to me, ” I know you love your son. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, if you hit him, he might still remember it when he grow up, even he can’t remember why you hit him. It’s sure bad for your relationship with your child, even you love each other. I didn’t hit any of you girls when you were young, because it could hurt me too.”

After that conversation with my mom, I improved my behave with Terry’s help. Even today I can remember so clearly, Sonny gradually stopped scream at me, and it makes me a happier mother too.

My mom and niece

In spite of I live so far away from my mom, we often talked on phone, video chat every two weeks in last two years, there were no distance between us. The day before my mom fell, I talked to her and she sounded very well. She had only spent a week in hospital before she past away, I talked to my sisters every day to check her condition. My sister told me that mom had such strong will to live, she fought so hard with death at beginning; later she realized her body couldn’t make it, so she seemed calmer and died peacefully.

It’s so hard to believe that she is not there anymore, I won’t be able to see her and talk to her anymore. I wasn’t there in front of her death bed, I didn’t see how slowly she became weaker and weaker. Her only image in my mind is the strong but gentle mother, the wisest woman I’ve ever knew. Now she doesn’t suffer anymore with her physical condition, I wish her spirit is in a happy, peaceful place, watching over her children and giving them her blessing. I’m in peace too, because we well spent these 16 years to love each other as mother and daughter, we didn’t waste the time of our life.

Mom, thank you to be this amazing woman, to be our wonderful mother. If there is another life time, please let me to be your child again. I love you, and I will always love you; you’ll live in my heart and mind for ever.

When we first left Tom’s place, we drove up to Mich, Upper peninsula, to visit brother Ken’s cabin, he past away last year.

Ken had this cabin over 40 years, when his children were young, he took the family there at summer time; often in winter, he and his buddies had hunting parties there. There are 7 or 8 bedrooms  on upstairs, plenty rooms for a gathering. After he retired from his successful career as a lawyer, he spent most of his time at the cabin, except in winter, he lived in Arizona.

Brother Ken had been a very special person for Terry and I. It was complicated and long term process to get visa for me to come to states. Even Terry had an immigrate lawyer to get fiance visa for me, we still need someone as financial guarantee, Ken was there for us, it still took 16 months to get my visa.

I arrived in Kona on April, brother Ken organized and hosted our wedding in UP in June (Since all of Terry’s relatives are live in mainland and Canada). As the elder brother, Ken was always the one who organized family reunion every year, the very important key person for the big family. For our wedding, he sent us air tickets, told us that all we needed to do was just show up. He invited other family members, arranged the place for everyone to stay, meals, photographer, even got the priest to marry us.

That was  the first time I  met most of Terry’s family, totally moved by how Ken opened his heart to accept me, how generous he was to us. I was so happy to find out that, Terry has a very nice big family, they are all very kind people.

This place is surrounded by trees, wild flowers are everywhere. Sonny and I walked around the house and took some pictures in the day time, there were too many of mosquitoes in the shady  woods, we didn’t go very far into the woods. We spent two nights there, it was still a little chili at night, Terry brought in firewood and made the fire in the living room, gradually it brought warmth and life back into this big, cold and empty space. Thought about how many people had been here, how many good times had became memories in people’s mind, some of our special memory had been born in this place. This time, we came here to say thanks and goodbye to Ken and his cabin, because we don’t know when we will visit here again. Sat by the fire, we had ice cream in this very quite space, very comfort and peaceful moment.

We used Ken’s bedroom on the first floor.

On second day, Terry’s university buddy, Bill and his fiance Marcia drove 4 hours to visit us from Michigan Tech, just for a few hours. We hoped they would stay over a night, but Marcia had to work next morning. It’s good to see them again, and know they are still very happy together.

From there we went to Canada, then went to Detroit, stayed at Joannes (Ken’s youngest daughter) and Mark’s place.

Joaney and Mark have two boys, Connor 12, Jack 10. They both like Sonny and very nice to him, they met Sonny 6 years ago and might even have better memories than Sonny has. Sonny had so much fun with them, now he wants to move to Michigan, to live with Jack and Connor.

From those few days we stayed there, Terry and I both think that, Connor is a very intelligent and exceptional kid. He likes to read (When we visited them last time, Connor was reading Harry Porter, he was just 6 years old),  his interests to different knowledge are way ahead of other same age kids, polite, kind and respect other people. When I think of him, it make me thrill to know such a wonderful child, all I can wish for him is, he will find his special place in this world when he grows up.

Connor, Jack, Sonny and Susan.

Jack prefers to play outside rather than play video game.

Terry and Kendra, uncle and niece, good friends too.

Kendra is Ken’s eldest daughter, she lives cross street from Joany. We had our first day supper at her house, Nancy,Kendra’s mother came, and Shelia and Trish (Shannon’s two sisters) drove over an hour to spend some time with us too.

When Ken’s whole family first time visited Terry in Kona, his children were very young, Joany was around 2 years old. They remembered that uncle Terry lived in tree house, because coffee drying deck built above garage and kitchen, over look the tree tops. They even had a nick name for Terry, “uncle Lolo”. As eldest child, Kendra has kept in touch with Terry, visited Terry again with Shirley when she was about 20, they are close good friends.

Another evening, Nancy brought the food over to Joany’s house, made a very good meal for everyone, and good conversation together. Wish we had more time with them, but their lives are busy, and we only had limited time at each place on this trip.

Kendra and her mom, Nancy.

After we returned Tom’s car, spent a few more days with him, we flew to San Francisco. We stayed with Rodney and Ann for a couple of days, rented a car and drove down to Big Sur.

We visited Jack in Monterrey, he has M.S. and stays in the house most of his time. He seems always has positive energy, doesn’t complain a lot even he has more health issue than most people. Terry and Jack talked and laughed about old time stories, listened to them, some of their stories were really wild and crazy. Amazing is that they still can laugh about it when they look back, they had fun in their old days. We went to a Mexican restaurant, brought back some food to Jack’s house for lunch, it was very good food.

We left jack’s place, then met John and Lori at the store where John works, Sonny chose to ride in Lori’s car, we followed her car to their house. Terry and I wondered what Sonny and Lori talked about  on the way. Lori told us that Sonny wasn’t shy at all, told her all about Minecraft game. She is super patient with him, even after we arrived their house, she sat with him, looked at the book and let him explain the new information he had just learned. Except her gentleness, there is one thing I notice of her, Lori has twinkle in her eyes. She is the only person I found who has sparkles in the eyes at her age.

Both John and Lori are very gentle people, they love children, they have two daughters, Lily and Jessie. John is also a musician, under his influence, Lily and Jessie both can play guitar very well, sing and write songs. John showed us his own recording studio, played few songs they were still working on. John has very nice voice, it sounds much young than his age. For someone like me, who don’t know much about music, listen to songs someone produced, just left me marvels how intelligent they are.

Lily showed us a song video she had put it on line, I kept the link on my i Pad, watched few times with Sonny. He remembers the melody, I caught him humming the song several times, he asked me to record the song, so we can listen to it when we are picking coffee.

One morning, John and Lily are singing some of their songs before breakfast.

Lori grows some flowers in her garden for their scents, she makes scented essential oils. It’s my first time to see lavender, I used lavender scented soap before, don’t really like it. But the smell from actual lavender flower is wonderful, so light and sweet, I love it.

A swing was set on a slop, Lily and Jessie used to play when they were young girls, Sonny had fun swinging high up in the air.

On second day, Danny, Suzi and Aniya came to join us, Lori and Lily made yummy Mexican lunch for us.

Lori and Suzi grew up together from same area, good friends since their very young age. Danny had a place in Kona long time ago, he is the first person whisper “Kona” into Terry’s ears, and Terry end up to live in Kona.

Terry hasn’t seen Danny  for 27 years, it’s a long time, they could use days to catch up with each others stories. But they couldn’t spend the night, and we had to to leave next day, so the time was well spent to talk talk talk, and the weather was perfect.

Lori, Terry and Suzi.

Terry, John, Danny.

We drove back to San Francisco, spent last day with Rodney and Ann, another couple of good friends. We are so lucky to have so many good people as our families and friends, and we will meet more good people in our future.

Terry’s father was a World War 1 veteran, he donated all of his medals to Royal Canadian Legion Branch 233, he was the first president of that legion. Sonny has interests to war history,  like to collect medals for his treasure box. Before our vacation, Terry promised to take him to see grandfather’s medals, so that’s the first place we visited in Canada.

The staff working at the legion were very nice, showed us around, Terry asked about some people he knows, but the staff didn’t know much about those people. It’s a small town, Terry had many good memories  growing up there, recognized some of the old buildings, but people he knows were moved away or past away.

This legion named in honor of Colonel Fitzgerald.

Medals in the case on top left corner donated by Sonny’s grandfather.

Sonny was really excited to see so many medals and items from  World War 1and World War 2, checked out some items in display cases again and again. And of course, he was very happy to see grandfather’s medals and proud of him. There was a piano in another room, he asked for permission and played a song for us.

We didn’t spend the night there, Terry was in a rush to get to Shannon and Andrei’s place in Toronto, so he could relax and rest for a couple of days.

Shannon is Terry’s niece, she and Andrei are very interesting and unique couple. Their house filled up with many books, walls covered by book shelves from floor to ceiling, even the side of wall of stairway. Most of their kitchen items are very old and have stories behind them, they favor old things rather than new ones.

We slept very well on their living room floor, with fresh air came through windows, very comfortable, felt like home.

I like Canada a lot, as soon as we past the border from States, I felt like finally I could exhale which I’ve been holding up for too long. I felt this way on last trip six years ago, I felt the same this time.

Where Shannon lives, there are so many shops and restaurants in walking distance, very convenient spot to live in a city. We walked to China Town a couple of times by ourselves, had two meals at Chinese restaurants, but nothing special.

On weekend, Shannon and Andrei took us to their favorite Dim Sum restaurant, it was my first time eating at a Dim Sum restaurant. The restaurant’s business was so good, the waiting line didn’t slow down once while we were there. The food were delicious, wish we had more time there.

On the way home from Dim Sum restaurant, they took us walking through some streets with many small shops. We stopped at a army clothing shop, Terry found some homemade wool socks, and Sonny found this gas mask. He asked me to buy it as a souvenir since he was a such good boy. I convinced him to save the money for toy airplane when we visit air museum.

Before we drove out from Toronto to Waterloo, we visited UCC, the boarding school Terry went when he was a teenage boy. He made an appointment with the school staff Maria, Michelle was the one who showed us around the school, even the room Terry stayed before.

In the building, we saw this portrait on the wall, Miss.B was the nurse when Terry was in the school. She was one of the kind of people with a big heart, gave all of her love and care to other people, devoted her whole life to the kids in the school. When Terry talked with Michelle about Miss B, he broke into tears, couldn’t speak. Even after toured the school, when we were having lunch in school cafeteria with other teachers, mentioned Miss B, that brought tears to Terry again. He said that Miss B was like a mother to them, gave them dearly care. His emotion affected us, brought tears to Maria and me too. He’s a good man with gentle soul.

We arrived at Shirley’s house ( Terry’s elder sister ), that’s where we found her, her favorite place to spend most of summer days reading on the swing seat. Shirley is another person who always took care and helped other people, her selfless stories could write a book, she is an amazing strong woman.

When we drove from Wisconsin to UP, past an airplane museum, we both felt bad for not stopping there, since Sonny likes airplanes so much. We found out there is a Canadian Warplane Heritage in Hamilton, an hour drive from Shirley’s place, so we visited there.

Sonny got a toy air plane and two war plane posters, he’s very happy.

We spent two days with Shirley, then had to move on. We visited his brother Bill and Joy in Port Dover, just one night. Bill has some health issues, couldn’t walk, depending on walker, wheel chair or scooter to get around. Joy is the one doing everything and taking very good care of Bill. She keeps their house so clean and neat, prepares good meals every day, and does some of her sewing project too.

They have a goose statue in front of their house, Joy made over 20 different costumes for the goose, and often change its’ clothes for different weather or occasion. A lady lives in their neighborhood always drive by their house in purpose, just to see what kind of clothes the goose is wearing on that day.

A biker gathering event at that weekend, and they are expecting a couple from Scotland.

Then we visited Andy and Marlene, Terry’s other brother and sister in law. There we got to see their daughter’s family, Lisa has two sons, they are into playing hockey a lot, both are very nice boys. And we got to meet Bill’s son, David and his son Andrew. First Sonny was playing as a shy person, as soon as Andrew said he plays Minecraft game too, Sonny jumped around him, talked to him about Minecraft excitedly. They are not sports kids, they lost in their game world for a while.

Andy took us to a nearby toy store, let Sonny picking out toys and he paid for it. Sonny found a Minecraft book and he was in heaven.

It was so nice to see everyone, knew they are all doing so well with their life, and we were very welcomed in their homes.

We went to mainland and Canada last month, visited Terry’s relatives and friends, it was a great trip. We flew into Wisconsin, our friend Tom picked us up and we stayed with him for a few days; he lent his car and cell phone to us ( Fortunately we still don’t need a cell phone in our daily life ); we drove to Mich.Upper Peninsula, Toronto, Waterloo, Port Dover, London; then to Detroit, back to Wisconsin; from there, we flew to San Francisco, spent a week there and Big Sur.

I took lots of pictures, and I want to share some pictures and stories on my blog. We’ve been home for three weeks, I’ve just been lazy and enjoy my time not doing very much first two weeks. Next week we spread the farm with BatonicGuard.

It has been six years since we all visited mainland, these two trips were quite different, especially to Sonny and me. Sonny was 3, too young to remember very much of that trip. To me, I was still in process of getting used to American food. Rice was one of main food in my daily life, if I didn’t have rice for a day, doesn’t matter what I ate, I still felt hungry. That was one of the unpleasant part during that trip .This time, Sonny will remember more people we met and places we went; and I enjoyed our trip with other kind of food, it didn’t bother me if we skip rice for days.

Tom picked us up at airport, drove 2 hours crossing some farm land to his place.

Comparing it with Kona’s landscape, Wisconsin has big flat farming land, rich fertile soil, big size farms. It’s so beautiful at this time, different shades of green made the land into an interesting picture. Tom can tell us, what kind of crop is growing there by their shades of color.

Before we reached to Tom’s place, we stopped at Louise place, she is Tom’s friend and we met her this February. She has 80 acres of land, beautiful flowers and plants growing around her house, and some handsome horses. They are not farm horses,  they got very good care and live in a nice home, a very good and luxury life a horse could ever ask.  We even got to see a one day old baby horse, really cute.

Mama horse was very protective of her baby. When I stood by the door and tried to take a picture of the baby, she kept  blocking me by standing between me and her baby, .

Second day afternoon, we went back to visit Louise, she wasn’t at home. We waited for a while, enjoyed ourselves by watching horses and taking picture. The sky was getting dark, a storm was coming, sounder and lightning scared the horses, they broke the fence and ran to stable. Terry tried to close the stable, but couldn’t get everyone into it, they ran out and roam around the house and near the road again and again.

A man and his two kids were testing an old boat on the pond which they just fixed , he came over and introduced himself, he is Louise’s brother. He and his kids helped to lead the mama horse and her baby into stable, before we herded all of the horses in, Louise came back. Her dogs herded these scared horses into stable just in a matter of few minutes.

Terry and Sonny helped Louise to give some food and water to horses. Terry picked up a brush and started to groom the horse, he looks like he knew what he was doing, his every move was so firm and so sure. But when I asked, he said he didn’t know very much about horse, never groomed a horse before. He said, “You don’t want to surprise them, before you touch them, stand beside them where they can see you. When you touch them, you have to be confident and no doubt of yourself, otherwise they can sense your feeling and not trust you.”

Horses are beautiful, especially when they are running, so graceful, so powerful. Standing beside them, I felt very small, not only of my actual size, but also the invisible power I carried around me. If their power was brilliant halo, mine was a dim light. I know, if I had a chance and time to get know horses, I could conquer my own fear, be confident around them. For now, as a visitor, I’m happy to respect them and admire them in safe distance.

We went to one of Tom’s favorite bar a few times, Junior’s family has owned this bar for over a hundred years. In the picture, he was serving us homemade root beer, a new drink Sonny fell in love with.

A Friday evening, Tom took us to a local restaurant, a special event, serving German food buffet, live music with lots of old songs.

Walking In the main dining hall, right side were buffet, in front of it were about 20 dining tables, stage was at front only few steps higher, pass those dining tables, a big round bar and some high bar tables and stools fill up the rest of the hall.

It was around 6pm when we got there, the dining hall was full of people, no dining table or bar table available. We got some drinks and waited in back room which decorated with antiques and old pictures.

There were quiet bit of old folks, some came from other town or city. Three musicians were entertaining people with old folk music, they even played some music under people’s quest. Food, music and people created a merry festivity atmosphere, Sonny and Tom were eating,drinking, and swinging their body along with the music. Since nobody were dancing there, they stood out, attracted musicians and other people’s eyes by their jolly mood, made a quite scene.

Uncle Roy giving Sonny a lesson how to drive tractor. Uncle Tom taught him how to drive golf car and four wheeler.

Tom has some woods behind his house, he made some trials to go through the woods, and he planted some mushroom sports into the log by the trial. Every day Tom gave us a couple times of riding through the woods, looking for mushroom in the woods.

Mushroom from jungle is one of the special food I miss from my hometown, a taste with my memory, no other food can replace it.

When my family moved out from the village, I was 6 years old, I don’t have any experience of looking for mushroom in jungle. Don’t know where to look, and what kind of mushroom to look for.

One raining season, I was about 12 years old, my mom, younger sister and I visited my aunt. When we arrived there, my aunt wasn’t home, she was in forest looking for mushroom. She came back around 2 o’clock, with a basket full of mushroom. Not the basket you carry with your hand, it’s a big bamboo basket Aka people carry on their back, she got about 15 or 20 lb of mushroom.

At that time, there were no transportation from village to town, villagers collect most products from the forest were for themselves, not for sale. So my aunt prepared the mushroom in many ways. Steam mushroom, then mash it up slightly with salt and garlic. Or wrap up diced mushroom with fresh herb with banana leave, bake it by fire. We had mushroom every day at that visiting, my sister was sick of it.

Tom has a mushroom guide brochure, I studied it and believed I can recognize the edible one. We had some rain every day when we were there, mushroom were growing, and the woods are right by Tom’s house. I couldn’t let it go, without trying one time to hunt mushroom in the woods. So one morning, I went out with a small bucket, a knife and the brochure by myself, nobody wanted to do this as much as I do.

My mushroom hunting adventure only lasted for 30 minutes, it ended when I found a big clump of mushrooms. It looks like turkey mushroom to me, but different colors. It’s not looks poison to me, I cut a small piece off and smelled it, it smells like oyster mushroom. I picked it and went back to the house, it weighs about 3lb. Terry and other two people didn’t know this mushroom, but when Tom got up from his nap, he told me it’s chicken mushroom and it’s edible.

Views from Tom’s house, a beautiful place he’s got.

Internet is great, e-mail and on-line chat help us to contact with our friends and family, but there are so many scams floating around in cyber space and seep into our email box.

Last month Terry got an e-mail from someone who claimed working at HSBC Hong Kong. Her story is that, a sum of (USD $23,200,000.00) Twenty three million, two hundred thousand dollars was deposited by their late customer who died without declaring any next of kin before his death in 2006. She was asking Terry to help her re-profile fund? She suggested Terry to stand as the next kin of their customer, then share in the ratio of 50% for her, 50% for Terry.

We don’t really care if her story is true or false. No matter how much money is there, it’s not our money and we have no interest and right to claim it, so does she. Claiming the money which is not belong to you is crime of theft. Most people in this world would like to have more money, but stealing is not a way to get it.

Two weeks later after that, Terry got another e-mail from Mark Lawson who claimed to be an attorney from London, United Kingdom. His story is even better, and he has his address and office phone number on his e-mail.

His client Mrs. Margaret suffering from cancer, she’s willing Terry the sum of £10.2 Million British Pounds for humanitarian and personal use. Terry has the right to decline the funds as much as he has the same right to accept it as well.

There are even directions from Mrs. Margaret, how to use the money. 60% of the total funds should be used to help/support the less privileged/needy around you in your community. Use 5% of the total funds as donation to any small Church/Mosque or any Organization you know there in your City. The remaining 35% is for your own personal use for standing as the beneficiary.

All of these sound good, and he just needs Terry’s full name, gender/age, occupation, address and phone number, it’s reasonable too. It’s just hard for me to believe, someone give you so much money who you don’t even know. I won’t say it’s impossible at all in this big world, anything is possible except the chances are very very small. If they ask you to keep it secrete, don’t tell a soul, they are probably up to some scams.

So I Google up Mrs. Margaret Crawford and the attorney’s name, found their name on www.scamdex.com, it’s a scam, end of the story.

I wonder why those people are not using their intelligence and energy to do some real work, making a honest living. What a waste of life.

This scam story was over, but it did span a fantasy in my mind that afternoon when I was cleaning green coffee bean. ( we always pick out black, brown ugly beans before we roast each batch of coffee )

If you have been to Asia, have been to any local market, you see more food and vegetables locals prefer. At my home town, there are several daily markets, they are always busy and crowded in the morning. People use fresh food more than frozen food, most families buy their food daily and prepare their three meals a day at home.

These daily markets usually own by government or institute of government, government build the market so it’s out of rain and sun. I think meat product retail have to rent a booth, pay the rent monthly. People sell vegetable or fruit just put their food on oil cloth or banana leave on floor, space of 2 or 3 feet width, anybody can do business there. A person could just have 5kg tomato from garden, or 10 bunches of vegetable, or 3kg mushroom from forest, or 5 dozens of egg. Tax man come to collect money from vendors and give them receipt, very small amount. They check several times a day, there might be even different fees for half a day or all day. Anybody can do small business there, no matter how small quantity you have, or how many times you want to be there. That is one reason keeping the daily market interesting, you never know what you can find in the market that day. These markets provide a platform for any farmers and villagers do small business there, reduce the waste of Ag-products.

My fantasy is that, if someone give me a big amount of money, I would build a daily market for the community. There will be plenty of build-in booth, vendors don’t need to bring their folding table and tent everyday. It going to be a non profit organization, vendors just need to pay very little to keep the market clean. I’m sure, more farmers would like to sell their product than let it rotten in the farm; and local farmers can contribute more food to local community.

With all of state regulation, it won’t be as easy as I thought, but it’s not impossible. Big organization or company with tons of money, if they want to do something and benefit the local community, daily market won’t be a bad idea. The community will be more alive with daily market, local products trade there, less food will be wasted.

That was my fantasy in that afternoon, and I drop it as soon as I walked out from our coffee room, when I quit cleaning green coffee bean.

Then another incident happened in that evening. A Japanese costumer ordered some coffee on line, gave us their rental house address in Honolulu, they were going to stay there 2 days then 2 days in hotel. We received an e-mail, they were leaving Honolulu and they didn’t get the coffee package, they opened a dispute in PayPal. This kind of case was first time happen to us.

I got the package tracking number and found out the package was delivered the day before they arrived. Whoever was there, took the package. Again, I can’t understand why someone takes the package which is not for them, they are stealing from other people. I felt sorry for our costumer, wished they had contacted us earlier, not at the last minute before they were leaving. I sent tracking information to them, proved that we mailed the package. My understandgin is that, we are responsible to mail the package to the address we were given, we are not responsible for lost package after it was delivered.

I can’t wish everyone is honest in this world, but I sure wish we have more honest people than dishonest people; wish those scam people quit their job, get a honest job and have a decent life. Living a honest life is a good life, it shapes the small world around you, builds a trust world around you, a world nice to live in.

Fred came to me about 18 years ago. I’d been looking for a grey kitten to replace Smokey, my first grey cat.

Tailiko brought me a very young kitten and I was stoked. We bonded in my hammock and I was thinking of a name.

If you are old enuff to remember “The Furry Freak Brothers” in Zap Comics in the 60’s you know Fat Freddy had a cat (unnamed). This cat sometimes got revenge for being left home alone. I came home one evening to find that my kitten seemed to have followed in Fred’s cats footsteps. He had shit in my earphones which was identical to what Fred’s cat had done.

Ergo my kitten had named himself Fred.

He was my hammock, bed, couch, lap cat. When he was young he’d run up the coffee tree I was picking.

When he was around 5, he lost an eye; but it didn’t seem to bother him at all as he still brought me live mice at night (yes, to my bed where he’d play with them until I’d toss the mouse/rat out the window).

He’d stand his ground with visiting dogs, but easily made friends with people and put up with kids.

Until I met Susan, he was the best companion I could hope for.

The last couple of months he’d been failing and last week he could barely walk. Fri he was lying on the couch with me and managed some purring. I went to the outhouse and he stumbled outside while I was gone and we haven’t been able to find his body yet.

At  Keei beach, buried in the sand

Playing with  “George Mouse”

His computer mouse.

Above with Sonny’s cat Mini.

After I met Terry, he sent some pictures to me, showed me the farm, the house and his cat. He convinced me to get a cat, so I got a kitten, named her Mina.

On the day she delivered her first litter of kitten, I was sitting by a big basin, washing laundry. Mina came to me, bit my pants and tried to drag me. Even she couldn’t speak human language, but obviously she wanted me to go somewhere with her. I followed her to the new nest I made for her. She got inside the box, lied down. I thought, she was going to have her babies soon and she was nerves (it’s her first time), she wanted someone to be there with her. So I talked to her, stroke her, it seems comforted her. I saw her first baby came out, then Mina got busy to clean her babies. She had 6 healthy kittens, they gave my whole families lots of joy.

I like cat, but loving a cat is a very different thing, I don’t think I can love a cat like Terry does. He gives dearly care to our cats, allowed Fred snuggle with him all the time. Last few months, Fred slept a lot, napping with Terry on the couch; he lay on Terry’s chest, laps, on the pillow or by his feet, part of Fred’s body always touching Terry. If Terry moved or changed position, Fred moved too, then settled down and satisfied to touch Terry again.

Last Friday night, Sonny and I were watching TV, Fred was sleeping on another couch. Suddenly he rolled off the couch, kicking, struggling to breath, like he was dying at that moment. I sent Sonny to bedroom to get Terry, and I kept patting and talking to Fred. Terry came, gently picked him up and put Fred on his laps, Fred’s breathing became normal again. Part of that night, Fred slept on Terry’s chest.

Early morning of next day, Fred woke up, drank some milk and ate some can food, slept the whole morning peacefully on the couch. He disappeared in the late afternoon, we had no luck to find his body. We hoped he could die on Terry’s lap, Terry could hold him at that moment. Several times, Fred stumbled out from the house, Terry brought him back.

Here is another story I like to share. I had a miscarriage, it was my first pregnancy, about 2 months. When I started bleeding a little, I asked our lady friend. She told me, if there were just a little blood, don’t worry about it. So we decided to wait and see. At that time, Fred was very sick, he stayed under the house all day, loose poop with some blood.

About 4 or 5 days after I noticed my bleeding, I had a dream. In my dream, Fred sat on the floor of living room, looking at me who is standing in the middle of the room. He was very sad, a big tear drop hang underneath his only eye.

Next morning I told Terry about my dream and my worries. I sensed, if I had this baby, Fred would die; if Fred lived, I would lose this baby. I cried for Fred and the unborn baby, so sad. 2 days later, I wasn’t doing better, we went to hospital and found out I was not carrying the baby anymore. I prayed, wished Fred would restore his life, since I already lost my baby. Slowly, Fred recovered, lived many more years to receive more love from Terry. Even Fred couldn’t talk, but he sure loved Terry in his own way.

Fred, a very special cat.